we're chasing vodka with high fives
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
