I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
