I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
