All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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