I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Congratulations! We have a period
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