I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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