I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize