i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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