Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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