He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
