i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
