You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
