Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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