I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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