From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
