I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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