Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
