She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
