i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize