I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize