You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize