a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
