i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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