omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
