bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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