My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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