I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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