i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
