Sry I called you an 8
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
