I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize