Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
