You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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