You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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