Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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