Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
