It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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