That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
