how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize