a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
