so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Never underestimate the power of titties
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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