Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
third nipple confirmed
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
