with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
