I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
