New invention idea: vibrating tampons
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize