Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
