Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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