Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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