Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
MIDGETS
????
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
