I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
