seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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