..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
