Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
