What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize