Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
