My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
