you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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