She is in my trunk
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
