I think I just saw someone hide a body.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
