I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
