And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
