You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Green mimosas i think yes
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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