Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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