i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
