Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
